For the longest time, I was living an incredibly depressing life. I never had the belief that I was worthy of anything. My anxiety took a hold on me and made me believe that I was nothing. This lead to feelings of increased sadness and let in an overwhelming flood of negative thoughts. I never felt like I deserved anything great in life, and so my career was stuck in one place. I was stuck in one place. I didn’t move forward in life for a very long time.
Getting out of the darkness was difficult. I didn’t believe in anything and I kept thinking that nothing would happen when I die, so why live at all? I didn’t see the purpose in life, as I didn’t see the big picture. I was trapped and buried in negativity and carried pure hatred toward myself - it was a miserable existence.
One day I decided that I was tired of feeling that way. I was tired of hating myself and I was tired of being depressed. I was tired of having the opinions of others control my self worth. It was time I stood up for myself. It was time to change.
During this time I had just finished a journal. That journal featured many negative thoughts and showcased one of the darkest periods of my life. I didn’t write in that journal everyday, only when I felt like it. And usually when I felt like writing, it was when I was having a lot of negative thoughts.
So I bought a new journal and decided that I will push myself to write in it every single day. I decided to be more positive in this new journal and to just be kinder towards myself in general. I was and still am practicing self love every time I write in it. This journal will be a better journal, a more positive journal, a journal of self love.
After writing nothing but positive things in my journal, I eventually wanted to write all the things that I’m thankful for. I downloaded a journal app onto my phone, and decided to start or end my days with feelings of gratitude. I pushed myself to record everything every day to remind myself how beautiful life is and how lucky I am to be living the life that I’m living. Since I've been keeping a record of gratitude and actively trying to recognize negative thoughts, I’ve been feeling more focused and a little more present. I have a clearer vision of what I want to accomplish out of life.
Having gratitude affects your thoughts and your actions. It forces you to face the reality of what is instead of the what ifs. Feeling gratitude is so important in living a truly authentic and beautiful life. Being thankful for the things that we often take for granted really makes you view the world differently. You start to see the beauty in everything around you. A positive mindset towards everything around you opens doors to even more things that you will be grateful for. You may not be able to change your circumstances right away, but changing your attitude and mindset helps you move towards getting out of unwanted circumstances and towards ones you want a little quicker. It inspires you to work towards getting what you want. It makes you feel so much love towards everything around you and helps you find your purpose in this beautiful world we live in.
So what are you grateful for today?